the guarantee or even presence of talent does not always mean flowing money or financial success. yes, hard work will get you somewhere. sometimes it's right in the middle of town square. other times it is out in the middle of a field in the country with a car that won't work and no one around for miles. right now, the later is my current situation. it's where i am, much to my own frustration and questioning.
i am broke, not broken. money is a thing of fairy tales for me these days. i am not sure what my next move is, should or will be. sometimes, like now, it is easier to be paralyzed with confusion than to take that next step. maybe it's breathing i need to do and being right where i am rather than concentrate on moving. oh, how uncomfortable. but being poor and unemployed is a tough invisible battle that takes up mental energy and sponges up creativity - a gift i truly want to breathe in on a daily, hourly, minutely, secondly, nano-secondly etc. etc. etc. basis. but money is a necessity of life. the lack of it can really ruin the party. but lately i've been switching my perception of money. it is good and it allows good things to happen in our lives. yes, but try consoling my wallet and bank account right now. i'm not quite successful on that front.
so this is my blog. i can complain and whine here because it's mine and it's part of my journey. but i have to look for the good and the positive and ultimately coming out of this finagling funky financial fog.
i guess it's not entirely my fault. i have looked for work. i have applied ad nausea for jobs that i normally wouldn't even consider taking. too qualified. ugh.
so UnIvErSe, if you're up there and all in us, send me an answer, a soulution (yes, i meant to spell it that way) and something tangible that i can claw my fingers into for deep survival, sustaining me and holding on so i can move forward. good steps that will be in tune with me and my art and life. i love mountain climbing but sometimes you just gotta have a plateau or ledge to come to so you can rest. i want to be a musician/ actor/ artist. maybe that defines me rather than my lack of money. it has to. i choose to believe that and step into that good energy. and that is what i am going to hold onto for the sanity of making sense of this time in my life.
~michael
musician/actor/artist
i am broke, not broken. money is a thing of fairy tales for me these days. i am not sure what my next move is, should or will be. sometimes, like now, it is easier to be paralyzed with confusion than to take that next step. maybe it's breathing i need to do and being right where i am rather than concentrate on moving. oh, how uncomfortable. but being poor and unemployed is a tough invisible battle that takes up mental energy and sponges up creativity - a gift i truly want to breathe in on a daily, hourly, minutely, secondly, nano-secondly etc. etc. etc. basis. but money is a necessity of life. the lack of it can really ruin the party. but lately i've been switching my perception of money. it is good and it allows good things to happen in our lives. yes, but try consoling my wallet and bank account right now. i'm not quite successful on that front.
so this is my blog. i can complain and whine here because it's mine and it's part of my journey. but i have to look for the good and the positive and ultimately coming out of this finagling funky financial fog.
i guess it's not entirely my fault. i have looked for work. i have applied ad nausea for jobs that i normally wouldn't even consider taking. too qualified. ugh.
so UnIvErSe, if you're up there and all in us, send me an answer, a soulution (yes, i meant to spell it that way) and something tangible that i can claw my fingers into for deep survival, sustaining me and holding on so i can move forward. good steps that will be in tune with me and my art and life. i love mountain climbing but sometimes you just gotta have a plateau or ledge to come to so you can rest. i want to be a musician/ actor/ artist. maybe that defines me rather than my lack of money. it has to. i choose to believe that and step into that good energy. and that is what i am going to hold onto for the sanity of making sense of this time in my life.
~michael
musician/actor/artist
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It is when I finally let go of the fear lack of money has on me that money seeks me out. Money can smell desperation. Waving my fingers at you and sending you good thoughts.
Getting laid off last summer at age 49 was a real wake-up call. I have learned to look at money in an entirely different way...it is important for survival but I've learned that for the most part, it's not the fuel that keeps me going.
I appreciate the "extras" more than I did in the past- I did get a new job- quite a bit less pay but MUCH less stress, I get more respect and I am happier. Many lessons learned...
hang in there. Good things often come from the most unlikely places.